I Never Thought to Ask

I got the idea for this blog post a few weeks ago but after recently watching Amanda Palmer’s TED Talk, “The Art of Asking,” I was reminded that I need to set these thoughts down now before I lose them. So many thoughts parade through my mind on a daily basis, if I don’t carve out a moment or two for them, they’ll be gone.

I’ve come to a realization in the past few months: sometimes all you have to do is ask.

When I was pregnant, and even before, I felt alone. It was Matt and I against the world. I was so used to not getting support from my family that I assumed no one else would support us, either. Now, I’m not talking financially here. My parents have always helped me out if I needed money. They’re good with “things.” But in terms of emotional support, it’s lacking these days. I digress.

I assumed that no one cared about my pregnancy. That sounds so ridiculous now. I rejected help. I felt like we had to do it alone because I assumed that’s what we’d have to do. That when it came down to it, we’d have to do everything ourselves.

Little did I know that by having that attitude, I was making that my reality. I was making my worst fears come true by being so closed to the world. By saying “no.”

Then something funny happened. I had a baby. And I started to say, “yes.”

If someone offered help, I accepted. I still struggled with the concept of being on our own and alone but slowly, people started coming into our lives. My mother-in-law helped out, offered to watch the baby, leant an ear when I needed to vent and offered support. Slowly, my mindset changed.

Then, just last month, I put out a request on Facebook for a babysitter. Lo and behold, a family friend came to the rescue.

All this time, I thought we were alone. Our little family, floating on an island by ourselves, ostracized and removed. I thought it was because other people didn’t care. That they couldn’t be bothered.

Now I realize I didn’t ask. If I needed help, all I had to do was ask.

I’m humbled. Help was there all along. Wow.